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Letter to my first love
9 min read
I will never stop being in love with you...
When you you truly fall in love, you will never truly fall out of it. They say "You never forget your first true love. Either the scars they left behind stay there forever, or your heart never beats the same way again".
True love stories don't have endings, but the scary reality is that it's only the love that continues, the love story can go on without being with the other. It continues and you never will forget, you change and nothing will ever be the same.
I met you when I was 11, three years ago. For months we've barely spoke.
But as the years went by, we've changed into new people.
We will never be who we used to be.
Even though it has been ages, not a day goes by that I don't miss everything.
Not a day goes by that I'm not wishing I could go back in time
To where we where unbreakable...
Not a day goes by, to where those feelings meant something
Those undying feelings
It was never the perfect relationship, we lashed out on each other, we went against each other, we've betrayed each other, we've hurt each other.
But that never changed my love for you.
My love for you, will always exist.
I will be on my death bed, years from now. Still in love with you, still thinking of you.
No love, could ever grow as strong as the love I felt for you.
We where young, dumb, and stupid.
But I still learned so much.
It's been so long, we barely speak now. I've moved on, and I'm sure you have too.
My heart, will never be completed. That is just the reality of life, not everyone will end up in a fairy tale. I've accepted that. Facing the reality that I do move on to others, but my heart will never beat the same way for them as it did for you.
I do not want you back.
Ever.
Because I know that if we where ever to intertwine again, it won't be the same
We are not the same people, who we where in love with.
No one will ever replace the love I grew for you.
I wish someone could. I've learned however, that it is impossible.
Nothing hurts like this. Nothing. I've became silent, but inside my heart is weeping in pain.
Although it's hard to remember, I remember living every moment of our time together as something magical, I wanted my life with you. I loved you. I loved you more than myself. Everything about you was perfect, and from the moment I met you I knew I was in love with you.
I know you'll never read this, I just had to get it off my chest.
And it wouldn't matter. I will never get you back, I will never get the person I've loved for ages back.
Even if somehow, we crossed paths like that again, we are not the same. In the end, it will crash. I knew in the end, you stopped loving me like you used too, I wasn't needed anymore. It took forever to break away, but I lost more than half of my heart in the process.
Even if we are not the same, and never will be, I will always be there for you, even if I slowly die mentally. I'm taking the last flame in my heart to write this letter.
Every moment I lie to myself, saying I am a better person without you. But when the reality is I've lost myself without you.
It will take years to get over this, in fact, I never could. Each day will just get easier. But the thoughts and feelings wont go away, as much as I try to convince myself that they will.
I didn't want to give up, I wanted to keep trying. But I knew it was pointless. I knew you would be better off.
I wont ever forget anything, I will never stop smiling about the memories we had.
I will never forget meeting you, and standing at my bus stop in sixth grade figuring out how long I would give it until I considered myself in love with you. And I remember giving it a week for me to judge how everything was going.
I remember everyone telling us during the first month, that we wouldn't last. But we denied it, we where convinced we where the love of each others lives. We where convinced that we finally found the person we would die with.
I remember staying up all those nights, on my DS talking to you.
It was like you where my best friend, and we where inseparable.
I have every animation, drawing, and video I've ever made you saved. And every drawing you've made me saved as well. Even if you may not remember them.
I have our conversations on swap note 3ds saved, and I have those messages of us saying we love the other unconditionally. I sometimes view these, just for memories.
I remember us promising we would always be there for the other, and promised to never stop loving each other.
I will never forget crying myself to sleep, just because I was afraid if one of us died young then we wouldn't be together in heaven when the other later died because we wouldn't be married.
And worry about the stupidest things.
Because I was madly, deeply, in love with you.
We had our bad moments, but the good moments where so amazing that they always would outweigh it.
It's hard to remember everything, and everything seems so impossible now, it's hard to believe it ever happened.
We where so close, and we snapped apart. You didn't need me, and that's what made it so hard to believe. I never saw it coming. Compared to how everything is now, it's hard to believe those moments and many more ever happened
It's hard to believe, we where the ones who had those moments.
The moment we told each other, I don't care what happens, if you lost a leg, gained 500 billion pounds, lost an arm, I would never stop loving you.
And for the things that happened recently, that hasn't changed. I still do love you. And I never will stop.
I can claim I hate you
I can claim it was all worthless
I can claim we where just stupid
Although, that won't ever be the case.
I will be lying.
Deep down.
I will always be in love with you.
Every day
For the rest of my life and beyond my death
No matter how many years and decades go by
I will always be true to this:
If I could make any wish to come true, it would be to make things how they used to be.
However, wishes like that will never be real.
We will never be who we used to be.
Not even close to it.
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YO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO I DONT TALK TO
1 min read
I'M SORRY FOR BEING INACTIVE. REALLY.
Okay, so, I'M SORRY.
I'M NEVER ON DEVIANT ART.
I TRY TO BUT I GET SO BORED.
ANyway
If you want to start talkin again
Because
YolO
Thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Contact me through kik: SalinaHearts, just moved there and don't plan on moving again.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR
OORRORORORORORORORORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Add me on steam. my username like ACTUAL USERNAME IS LIONSTATUE. But like the name is PikLe. If you have one you should know whAT I MEAN GOODBYE, I NEED TO POST ART MORE AND WILL DO BECAUSE I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL AND ALL I DO THERE IS DRAW SO YEEEEEEEEAS
Also I get a bearded dragon next tuesday HELL YAS
Okay, so, I'M SORRY.
I'M NEVER ON DEVIANT ART.
I TRY TO BUT I GET SO BORED.
ANyway
If you want to start talkin again
Because
YolO
Thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Contact me through kik: SalinaHearts, just moved there and don't plan on moving again.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR
OORRORORORORORORORORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Add me on steam. my username like ACTUAL USERNAME IS LIONSTATUE. But like the name is PikLe. If you have one you should know whAT I MEAN GOODBYE, I NEED TO POST ART MORE AND WILL DO BECAUSE I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL AND ALL I DO THERE IS DRAW SO YEEEEEEEEAS
Also I get a bearded dragon next tuesday HELL YAS
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New account! Inolovenolife!
1 min read
My new account is 
Follow meee.
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YO ARTIST
1 min read
GET YO ASS NOTICED.
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